16 months old!

Hi ya'll!! I know, I know, I've been a bad blogger the last few months. Life has finally calmed down a bit and I'm just enjoying it :0)

Kaitlyn is walking now (finally!). She has been for a month or so. Natalie can walk when she chooses to, but she still crawls most of the time. I can't wait for her to walk too. It's so nice to be able to let them walk around when we go places or actually get to play outside! Just today I took them over to my parents house. I let Kaitlyn out of the car and she stood there while I got Natalie out. I carried Natalie in and Katie followed me up to the house. That is so much better than packing them both in at the same time.

We are finally a good routine with the girls too. They are sleeping until around 7am, breakfast at 8am. Lunch around 11:30 and nap at noon. They have been sleeping until about 2pm. Dinner is around 5pm, jammies at 7pm and bed between 8-8:30pm. Bed time and nap time is pretty simple now too. We can just lay them down in their cribs and walk away. So nice! Most of the time they don't even make a peep. Hubby told me yesterday at nap time they both went over to their bedroom door with their pacifiers and blankets and laid on the floor.

Meals have been interesting. Breakfast and lunch are pretty easy, but dinner is a challenge. If it's not bread or pasta they aren't really interested. They won't eat meat, or veggies. I tried tricking them and adding a jar of baby food veggies to their Alfredo, but they didn't eat it. I keep offering different foods, but they aren't going for it. Try, try again...

Okay, I'm sure there is more to share, but I will leave you with some pics of their photo shoot from last month.

I'm still here

Hi all!

I'm still here. I've just been uninspired to post lately. Not a whole lot is going on - which is actually is nice for a change. The girls are doing well. Playing...and now fighting with each other. Still no walkers, but Katie is oh so close! When some inspiration hits me I'll post more. In the meantime, I'll leave you with some pics!

I read a book!

I am very excited to announce that since we moved into our new digs, that I've been able to read again!!! I got a Kin.dle for Christmas but hardly used it at all since I couldn't read in bed at our old place and obviously couldn't read while the girls were around.

I finished my first book that I started probably just three days ago last night. It's been so nice to read for a while before I go to bed. I LOVE IT.

Just wanted to share :0D

Our new home sweet home

Well, for the next two years at least we will be calling this new place home. It's an older but mostly updated duplex in town. I am now only 6 minutes away from work, they girls have their own room and most importantly Hubby and I have OUR own room!!!

Hubby is so excited about his new space he dances circles with is arms out all over the house. :0) We also have a single car garage that is finished and a storage shed. We have so much space I don't even know what to do with it all :0) I can finally unpack some boxes that we kept in storage at my parents place. Yay!

The girls are loving the space too. They race all over the palce chasing each other and going from room to room. It's pretty funny.

I think the girls are going to be good friends too. My MIL snapped this pics the other day. I LOVE them :0)

I think we are all going to be a lot happier now in our new home :0)

Moving Saturday

With our one part-time income, a bankruptcy and foreclosure we actually found a decent 2 bedroom duplex that accepted us!! It's a cute place - though a little dated - right behind an elementary school in town. The garages divide the two units. The garage is actually really nice. It has a finished painted floor the walls are sheet rocked, textured and painted. We are planning to use that as a play room for the girls. The only other things in there will be the rental fridge and stove (since we are going to be using out own) and the washer and dryer. We have a large area rug that we are currently using in our living room, but we won't need it in the house when we move so we will put it out in the garage. We will be able to have a dining room table again too. But the best part...it has walls and doors - can you imagine?!?!? :0) If you don't remember...or I didn't tell you...currently our living room, kitchen and laundry room is all one open space downstairs. Upstairs is completely open and we all share that space. I can't wait to be able to turn a lamp on and read in bed!

It's about 5 minutes from my work too which is a bonus! We signed a two year lease for a break in the rent for the first year, so I guess we will be staying put for a while (yay!!).

My dad hasn't said anything about us moving, which is fine. My mom is actually okay with it now. I think we all realized it is the best thing. It's just too bad it happened under such unfortunate circumstances.

Putting it out there

Ya know, I've decided I'm just going to lay it out there. I wasn't going to talk about it at first, but darn it, this blogging is my therapy. I need to vent. So sit back grab some popcorn and listen to the drama in my life...

I think I told you all about our living situation, although I can't remember because children suck your brain out. Anyway, we are living on my parents property in a two story (600sq ft) garage they converted to an apartment for us. I am currently working 20 hours a week and unfortunately hubby is not working. He stays home with the girls while I leave for work. Twice a week his mom comes over to help.

Last Saturday my dad discovers that his lock box of cash he kept in the house is missing. Big bucks. $13,000.

My dad has a drinking problem. The previous Sunday, he came home plastered. My mom had enough and told him to pack his stuff when he sobered up and leave. She wants a divorce. Within a couple of days they kissed and made up.

Fast forward to his missing money. At first he thought that during his drunken stupor he may have moved it. He can't find it. So what is the next logical step to take?

In his eyes it is to ask my husband to take a lie detector test to rule out the possibility that he STOLE the money. Their house is in a rural area down a gravel driveway. Neighbors are not too close. There have been no visitors lately, or suspicious activity. Their house was not broken into. They have three ankle-biter dogs as well.

My husband was shocked to be asked and refused to take the test. He and I fought about it initially because I asked him to just take it to get it over with and move on. He was so mad he left for his brother's house.  The next day I talked to a friend and decided I needed to stick by my husband since I have not even a shred of doubt that he did not take the money. Hello! I think I would know if he started buying a bunch of crap.

I unfortunately was stuck in the middle with my dad begging me to convince Hubby to do the test. Hubby absolutely refused. I told my parents that if they continued to pursue this that we would need to move because I'm not going to make Hubby live in an uncomfortable situation. He definitely does not feel like he can come back here.

So for the last 4 days I've been alone with the girls. I've been taking them to my MIL's place where Hubby helps his mom watch them while I'm at work. It has been rough on everyone. I can not continue to live this way. So our choices were to have him come back here or we need to move.

This morning my dad decided to get the police involved in the situation, so Hubby and I went looking for a rental. We found a cute duplex in town and put down a deposit. If all the paperwork goes well we could be moving next week.

I told my parents what happened and there was a HUGE blow up between the three of us. My girls and I were in their house visiting and I decided to take them home because of the yelling and swearing. Hubby and I don't fight in front of them and I didn't want to make an exception because of them.

So there it is. My ugly dramatic story. The elephant who finally left my chest when we finalized the foreclosure in February is back. I can't take a deep breath and I'm crying all the time. It is so sad to think about how the relationship with my family will never be the same and because of that it has an effect on the girls.

Playing Catch Up

Oh where to begin...

I guess I never shared the girls' first birthday party with you. It went pretty well. Unfortunately, Katie's nap was interrupted so she was crabby, but the show went on. Natalie loved her cake and devoured it. We had to peel her away to open presents. Kaitlyn wouldn't touch the cake. I tried feeding her some icing but she flipped out. I didn't even get any pictures of her in her high chair. Thankfully my MIL did.

They got tons of summer clothes as gifts. They are definitely set for the summer. I just wish the weather around here would allow them to wear some of the super cute outfits. They also got some toys and books. They loved it all. The party only lasted about hour or so. We just had immediate family there. I didn't want to make it too huge this year.

Well that was a few weeks ago. Since then we have stopped formula (YAY!!) and put the girls just on whole milk. They handled the transition really well. I was especially worried about Katie since she was on soy formula. She is doing great though. The solid food feeding is tough. Natalie is a pretty good eater, but the variety of foods she eats isn't too huge yet. Kaitlyn is harder. She doesn't have any teeth yet. Not one. She will suck on waffles, toast, etc until it's soggy and eat it, but she is funny about textures too so she's hard to feed. Mostly the girls are getting some finger foods on their tray but mostly eating from a jar. I wish we could move on from that sooner, but I don't see that happening for a while...until K gets some chompers.


I'm trying to think what else has been going on with them. Not a whole lot. They are busy little girls. And we discovered they love Shrek. They laugh and smile during all the movies. It's really entertaining to watch them watch the TV.

I guess that's about it with the girls. I've been a bit distracted lately with some family drama going on. I wish I could get in to it here, but it's just not the place. We will be moving again...soon...so it may be a while before I can post again.

1st Birthday Party

Here are some pics...recap later...

Busy, busy!

What a crazy busy last couple of weeks! Kaitlyn got sick almost two weeks ago. She ended up with croup - which is a nasty bug. Poor kid. I took her to the doc on a Tuesday. He gave her a Rx for a steroid pill that would help keep down any swelling in her throat from all the coughing. Amazingly her cough went away pretty quickly - within a couple of days, but all the snot stuck around. I took her back to the doctor on Friday because it looked like she was getting a sinus infection. Sure enough she had one, so we started her on antibiotics. It was a slow road, but she eventually got better. Now almost two weeks later from when it all started she still has a bit of a cough although it's really mild and her nose isn't running anymore - yay!

In the meantime, Natalie was totally fine. She never even had a sniffle...until last Tuesday. She started out being stuffy, then snotty, then the snot turned colors and she had a mild fever (100.3). I took her in on Friday just to make sure there wasn't anything going on with her ears or sinuses. Ears looked fine, and she was borderline whether or not she had a sinus infection. He gave me a script and said if she got worse we could fill it. We haven't. She never really got worse. She's still a little snotty, but it hasn't gotten nastier and the amount is less.

Can I just tell you how exhausting it is to have sick children. Seriously. I thought I've been sleep deprived just having twins, but geesh. And, can I just say how fortunate I know that we are that our girls have not gotten sick up until this point. That is just amazing! During Kaitlyn's bout we ended up staying several nights at my parent's house so we didn't keep Hubby and Natalie up. And for a couple of days in there I felt like I had caught a bug. Thankfully it didn't really amount to much.

Unfortunately, Hubby is not as fortunate. He woke up this morning sick. Poor guy.

In other news, the girls first birthday is in four days!! I can't believe we are almost there! We are having a party on Saturday for them. It's interesting planning a party. I've attended so many, but never actually planned a birthday party. And, um...they aren't cheap. We are by not means doing anything remotely extravagant, but wow. Cake alone is going to be $30. It should be fun though. I've picked out matching outfits and shoes. They will be so cute.


I will post pics next weekend!

A couple of firsts...

My first mother's day...well...it was okay. Actually it wasn't the greatest day and  I looked forward to going to work on Monday. Don't get me wrong it wasn't horrible, but...

My mom and I got to go shopping for a couple of hours by ourselves which was nice, but she wanted to buy me an outfit and I felt like crap. I had to try on HUGE sizes and nothing fit right. It was really depressing. I didn't get anything and she was bummed she couldn't get me anything, which made me feel worse. Then I come home to crabby kids and a crabby husband. I was crabby. It wasn't pleasant. It did end on a positive note. My dad bought some steaks to bbq with baked potatoes. It was yummy.

Another first is our first sick kid. Yep, we made it over 11 months without illness. Kaitlyn came down with croup. It is not fun at all. We visited a friend of mine last week and her kid was sick - I didn't know when I went over there. By Friday K was stuffy, and I'm pretty sure that's why she was so crabby on Sunday. Monday afternoon she started coughing and then in the middle of the night she woke up with the "barking" cough. Poor kid sounded terrible. I took her to the doc today. There sadly isn't any drugs we can give her to help the cough since she's so young. She did get a dose of some kind of steroid to make sure all the coughing doesn't make her throat swell and make it hard for her to breathe. The only other thing we can do it give her cool moist air. Either cranking the hot water in the shower with the bathroom door open to keep it cool or walking around in evening air.

She's actually been doing pretty good, considering. She still plays and crawls around, but she tires really easy and is super cuddly (which is rare :0))

Now Natalie doesn't have a first...but she's just sprouted her 5th tooth. She just broke her two top teeth in the last week and today I noticed one more on the bottom. That explains her crabbiness on Sunday too.

Whew, lots going on lately. I'm pooped. Off to bed I go, and hope that Kaitlyn can sleep okay.

Only three weeks away!

I never thought we'd make it. I never thought I'd make it. But we did. We are only three weeks away from surviving the first year with TWINS!! My widdle gwirls are gonna be 1 on the 26th. Crazay!! We are firming up some plans for the party. Nothing big and fancy, but a nice little get together with the fam and a few friends.

Lets see...what have the girls been up to? Hm, well Natalie is sprouting her 3rd and 4th teeth (the top two) and well...Katie still has zero. Weird.


The girls have a friend. My friend Rita has a daughter who is about 7 months older than my girls. She is super sweet. She brings them toys and rubs their back and lays on the floor with them. I think they are going to be besties. Last weekend Rita's older daughter had a birthday party. I brought Katie with me, since Natalie was staying the night at her grandma's house. They played and had a grand ol' time. Sunday I brought her over again. On Wednesday I brought both girls over to play. I think they like the change of scenery and of course a new face to look at :0)

The girls are cruising around all over the place too. The whole downstairs is their playpen. Kaitlyn is pulling herself up on everything. I think walking is not too far away. They are eating some solids on their trays. Kaitlyn gags and makes really funny faces when she tries something new. I can't really blame her since she still doesn't have teeth. Natalie gobbles everything. It's really funny.

What is not funny is tantrums. Actually I do have to hold back a laugh sometimes. Both girls get mad and arch their back and yell. Natalie makes a hilarious mad face and slaps and kicks...which is not funny. I cannot believe how much they flip out. I thought that was a terrible two's thing, but I guess I was wrong. And according to a bunch of my FB friends the three's are a lot more terrible than two's. At least we have a ways to go before then.

I guess that about sums up what they've been up so lately. Busy little girls they are...which makes Mommy and Daddy very tired.

The plus side of taking the pill

You've heard me complain and complain about PCOS and how haywire my emotions are and blah, blah, blah. Well I do have to say how nice it really is to be back on the pill after so many years. I forgot how nice it is not to grow a beard and mustache. I forgot how nice it is to not have to buy prescription strength deodorant and how nice it is to not grow hair in places that are just not pleasant. I'm not as manly as I used to be :0)

I just wanted to say something a little positive since I've been such an Eeyore lately.  Oh and my mood has improved since I'm not PMSing anymore...go figure.

11 months old!

The girls are 11 months old tomorrow (Tuesday the 26th)!! I can't believe they will be having a birthday party next month. Crazy!! Here are some pics for your viewing pleasure :0)

I gots issues.

Yup, it's true. I am an emotional basket case. It really all started way back when, when I went off birth control back in 2005. My hormones got all wonky and so did I. I went haywire physically, gaining weight and growing hair in not so pleasant places, and emotionally either crying over anything or getting mad all the time.

Going through fertility treatments for a couple of years didn't help at all either

I went back on the pill a month or so after the girls arrived to try to get me back on track. It did help for a while, but not I feel psycho again. Seriously. I can go from happy to raging mad in no time flat. It has really taken a toll on my hubby, and I know it's not healthy for my kids to witness. It's definitely the worst while I'm PMSing, which I happen to be this week. Last night was ugly. Kaitlyn woke up at 11:30pm and would not go back to sleep. I tried just helping her lay back down. Nope. I tried rocking her. Nope. I tried laying her in bed with me. Nope. Finally I brought her downstairs and fed her. She passed out.

It wasn't actually that nicely done though. She woke up crying, I tried to console her and lay her down. She SCREAMED. I was shushing her, and getting more mad that she was freaking out. Finally I was telling her to shut up...and now that I'm acknowledging how I acted I am so ashamed. I picked her up roughly and went down the stairs too fast. I probably carried her too tight. It was ugly.

I think I need help.

The girls have their 12 month check-up at the end of next month and the doctor they see is our family doctor. He is a really nice guy and always takes time during the girls appointments to see how Hubby and I are doing. I think I'm going to talk to him then about getting medicated. Even if it's just for a little while until Kaitlyn hopefully goes through this "phase".

I probably haven't filled you in yet about how completely clingy and whiney she is to me. For half a second it is cute and sweet that she wants her momma so bad, but man...it gets old fast. I'm trying not to hate it since I know some day she will go through a phase when she'll want nothing to do with me, but it's hard. I can hardly get anything done. Hubby can't do anything to help. I have to be the one who gets up with her every.single.night. Sometimes multiple times. If Hubby tried, she's scream. During the day she climbs up my leg and follows me around. When I do hold her she climbs all over me and squirms. She doesn't sit still.

She is just one of the things that gets me going during the day. I gots other issues too that have me stressed out almost constantly. Hubby and I have had so much happen to us in the last 15 months that I have forgotten what it feels like to be calm and stable. Remember his three surgeries last year? He is still feeling some residual pain from the last surgery. We also had to file bankruptcy because our bills were so out of control since he couldn't work for about 8 months and I was on half time and then maternity leave for a while. We lost our house to foreclosure and turned over the keys last month. We are now living in a small 600 sq ft "garage" on my parent's property that my dad converted to a little apartment for us. And since the space is so small it was impossible for all four of us and our three beloved dogs to all live here so we had to find them new homes suddenly.

Ya see...we've been through a lot. I can't handle much more. I feel like a teapot on the verge of steaming all the time...and sometimes I do steam. I need help to calm down. I know therapy would probably be more helpful, but drugs I think will be cheaper and unfortunately, money is tight.

Okay, okay, that is enough spewing my guts out for one day. Phew, see I'm glad I came back to this blog. It's nice to be able to spew again :0)

Change in birth control pill

Hubby was at the pharmacy the other day and I asked him to pick up my prescription for the pill. Apparently there was some hullabaloo with the pharmacy techs and the pharmacist and he texted me "What a mess. I hope they gave you the right script".

Great...

He gets home and the pills are Z.arah. Previously I was taking Oc.ella which is generic for Ya.smin. Supposedly the pharmacy can't get Oc.ella anymore so they gave me the Za.rah. After doing some quick investigating, it doesn't sound the like people like the Z pill very much. There is a lot of talk about breaking out, a lot of weight gain, headaches and some mood issues after switching from O.

This is not good. Not good at all.

As you may remember. I'm already over weight. I'd really like to not break out like a teenager again AND my moods have enough issues thankyouverymuch!

I think on Monday I'll call my doc to see what the scoop is on O. If it really isn't offered anymore I guess I'll have to move on to something else, but I want to hear from HIM as to what that should be and not let the pharmacist make that decision. I'm really not on the pill for birth control...I need it because my hormones are on crack.

Geesh. Always somthin'...

The grand re-opening

I just couldn't help myself. I missed this blog so much. I honestly think about it often. I miss the community of readers/commenters..and I especially miss having a place to spill my guts and vent. I've created two other blogs since this one and neither of them get posted to very often at all.

The other two blogs were about the girls. I love my girls to death, but I need a place for me and I don't have time for both. Of course I will talk about them on here, but this is mommy's space.

Believe me, just because I'm no longer on my journey to become pregnant, PCOS still interferes with my life. I've been such a hormonal basket case since having the girls I feel really crazy. I went back on the pill a couple of months after the girls were born and that has helped a lot, but I still feel a little psycho. I know there are other factors that contribute to my looney-tune-ness...and I'll get to those issues eventually...but hormones I know are a big factor.

All of this is to say that I'm back! I've missed you all. If I'm able to, I plan to post regularly...the good, the bad and the ugly :0)

We've Moved!

Well, not physically yet, that is a post for another day!

BUT, we have moved blogs. I've decided this blog has been dedicated to my journey to mommyhood while enduring fertility treatments because of PCOS. I think my widdle girls deserve their own blog now.

I would love it if you'd follow me over to our new location!

It is: http://mitandbur.blogspot.com/

See you there!

Okay...okay...

Thank you all for the comments. I really had no idea I still had so many people reading this. I know I have followers...but still...

Anyway, I think I'm going to change my mind about blogging. I think I'll stick with it. Since deciding last week that I didn't want to blog anymore, I've though of at least three things I've wanted to post like how the girls are sleeping terrible and so are we. And how Katie rolled over three times yesterday. And they tried cereal. And they are getting their pictures taken tomorrow. And, and, and...

I guess I'd still like a place to vent and share. I guess I'll stick around. And I guess I don't need to feel any pressure to post all the time. When I get to it, I get to it, right? :0) AND...I guess I'll just be careful about what personal information I put on here.

Can you tell I'm a little loopy today? I probably only get to bed for about 6 hours a night lately and it's VERY interrupted. I get up and go in the nursery to deal with one of the girls at least5-10 times a night. Sigh.

The end.

I've been thinking for a while to stop blogging. I just don't have the time. My reason for starting this blog to begin with was to have a place to vent and share my infertility experience. Now that my little girls are here I don't really have the time, and usually not the energy to keep up. I've only been posting a couple of times a month lately anyway. And that's not even so bad, but I feel obligated to post. Like I need to keep everyone updated...well...I don't feel like it anymore.

And to top it off, one of the blogs I read posted a link to Raising Colorado's site...who experienced something very disturbing this week. After reading this, it basically sealed the deal for me. I'm done.

I'll leave this site up for about a week or so to give my "readers" (if I really have any left) a chance to read this...then it's coming down.

I really appreciate the comments, advice, and experience some of you have shared with me over the couple of years I've had this blog. It really helped me through my journey of infertility to pregnancy to now motherhood. This particular journey has come to an end.

Ciao!

4 month check-up

This post is a little overdue. Their appointment was last Friday, but I haven't had a chance to really sit down and write out a post until now.

The girls are doing great. Both have gained a pound and they are only a 1/2" apart in length. Katie weighs 12.5lbs and has dropped to the 22nd percentile and Natalie weighs 11.5, in the 8th percentile.

Even though they both have dropped in their percentiles the doc wasn't concerned since they are still gaining weight and doing what they are supposed to developmentally.

Both girls were super cranky since the appointment landed during their nap time. Most of the appointment at least one of them were crying. And at one point both of them fell asleep. the outfits I had them in were too hot, so thankfully I had some onesies in the diaper bag and just put them on to go home.

They both slept pretty good that afternoon and evening, but felt really warm. No fevers, just warm to the touch. Saturday they both were pretty cranky too. I had given them a dose of T.ylenol before the appointment and followed up with I believe two doses that night just to make sure they didn't wake up too sore, like after their 2 month appointment.

I had asked about starting some cereal, especially for K, since she seems to be hungry every 3-4 hours - day and night. The doc suggested waiting until at least 5 months and to make sure she can sit up okay on her own first to help with digestion. Right now Katie does pretty good in the Bum.bo chair on her own, but no where close to sitting up by herself. We'll see how the next few weeks go. I may just try it to see how it goes.