Holy cow! I hope it is hormonal or else I'm just losing it. The last few days I've been kind of emotional. I went to see Lion King with my mom on Saturday and during the first two minutes of the opening I was all choked up! And for what? Seeing all the costumes I guess.
Then, Sunday, I went to see The Reader with my mother in law and it was a kind of depressing movie. It put me in a funk for the rest of the day.
Then, today, I'm in a totally fine mood all day at work and afterwards I stop by the grocery store to fill my prescription for the Provera. Well, I don't know if it was a coincidence or just my lucky day, but I swear every single cart being pushed had a kid in it. No joke. It was like babies were taking over the world or something. Then, I had a long list of items I was getting...I usually like to make my way from one side of the store to the other and grab what I need along the way. I hate forgetting something a few aisles away and having to turn around and go back. Well, I was a complete loser and kept forgetting stuff and I was going all over the place. Ugh. I suppose I did have 30 mins to kill while I was waiting for my prescription to be filled...I had no trouble doing that today. By the time I got to the check out line I was in a crummy mood. THEN, after I get all my groceries on the conveyor belt by purse tips over from the top of the cart and falls into the cart, dumping it's contents. Of course the change went through the cart and onto the floor. So lucky me, got to squat down skirt, heels, and all and pick up stupid change I didn't even care about. I only picked it up because it was in the middle of the walk-way. I suppose I could have kicked it out of the way...Anyway, then the checker guy was all chipper and nice. I know, that doesn't sound so bad, but when I'm in a bad mood, happy people make me more mad...
THEN, I load up my groceries in the back of my car (I have a CR-V). I used to have a piece of carpet back there so my stuff wouldn't slide around, but when I got in my accident last summer, for some reason the auto place didn't put it back in my car. So I had a sheet back there, but two weeks ago I had to pick up some flower arrangements for work and then dumped in the back and spilled water and dirt all over. So I have the sheet in the house to wash, but haven't done it yet. so all of that is to say that I didn't have anything to put the groceries on in the back of my car. So I had to drive really slow and careful, but that didn't matter, my bags and milk were sliding around and slamming into the sides of my car. I'm actually surprised I didn't have a bunch of milk in the back of my care when I got home.
So, I icing on todays cake are my dogs. I love them, but man, I hate them sometimes. I have three dogs. Two dachshunds and a basset hound. Well one of the dachshunds, Wally, is such a pain in the arse most of the time. He barks incessantly. It drives me insane. But there was not only icing, but a cherry on top. The basset and the other dachshund decide to get in a fight over a rawhide bone. The basset is 70lbs and the dachshund is about 20lbs...the basset won. But then got really protective, so I decided to pick up all the rawhides (there was one for each dog, but they usually pick one that everyone seems to want). I put them on the counter in the kitchen. Well, then they all were whining and trying to jump up to get them down. That was about 7:30 tonight. Well, by 8pm I'm crying to Hubby about how I'm going insane with the dogs and all the babies everywhere and my purse dumped and blah blah blah!
At 8pm I locked the dogs in their crates and came into the bedroom. I have the laptop (obviously) and headphones and I'm rocking out do drown out the noise of the bastard Wally barking. Every time there is a pause in the music or when the song changes I hear him barking down the hall. Oh how I hate that dog lately.
Well, I think I'll give the keyboard a break from my pounding fingers and maybe read a little. Hopefully I can through my tears. I'm listening to Third Day and Jennifer Knapp - they're Christian artists. Whenever I sing along I cry.
One of my favorite songs to sing (by myself of course) is: Jennifer Knapp - Refine Me
I come into this place
Burning to receive your peace
I come with my own chains
From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain
You're my God and my Father
I've accepted your Son
But my soul feels so empty now
What have I become?
Lord, come with your fire,
Burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Refine me
My heart can't see
When I only look at me
My soul can't hear
When I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You
How can I speak Your name?
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
It's all I can do
To give my heart and soul to You
And pray, and pray, oh I will pray
Lord, come with Your fire,
burn my desires; refine me
Lord, my will has deceived me
Please come and free me
Come rescue this child
For I long to be reconciled to You
Refine me, refine me
Refine me, refine me
1 comment:
Oh honey you are hormonal. Sounds like those hormones are working. That exactly how you feel during your first trimester. Must be the same hormones that you are getting and what is flowing through a new mama's body. Be prepared, it's not all that fun. :)
I was sort of afraid to talk to you too much about me becoming pregnant. I just want to be sensitive to your desires and struggles with this topic. Thanks for the great comments on my blog and supporting me. :)
Love and hugs, Heather
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