My emotional roller coaster has taken off and it is not drug induced this time! Yesterday was a pretty decent day, but when the evening rolled around the water works started!
I don't know what started it, I was just minding my own business watching TV and playing on the 'net. I just started getting super depressed thinking about my life. I don't mean to sound all dramatic, I know it is really not that bad at all, but still...
I think part of it started when I remembered earlier in the day I discovered new hairs growing on my chiny-chin-chin. Actually I found them on my cheek and jaw. It is so depressing being a chick and finding "man" hair on your face. I bet I could grow a goatee now! Seriously I've got it going on on my neck and chin and even a mustache - lucky me!! Okay, so I'm trying to make light of it, but it really really sucks!
Then I was thinking about how I go to work, then come home and sit around all night just waiting for bedtime, then go to bed and do it all over again. My only stimulation at home is my dogs who recently have been REALLY driving me bonkers and of course some TV and internet action. I don't have a hobby, my hubby is gone to work until about 9 or 10 pm.
I figure if I had a baby then I would have lots to do and someone to interact with and play with - I can only do so much of that with dogs - lol
I was also thinking about how I'm really not looking forward to going back to Dr. M's office again. The nurses really are idiots. If it wasn't for my confidence in Dr. M, I'd probably try to find somewhere else to go - even though he is a little weird.
I really, really, really didn't want to do another IUI - it was so uncomfortable! But hey, what choice do I have? None. Nada. Zilch. It has to be done and I'll do whatever I need to to get knocked up!
So all of that was swimming around in my mind and it kept building and builing and by the time Hubby got home from work last night I was a mess. I finished watching Grey's A.natomy, got up, kissed Hubby on the head and walked to bed. He followed me and cuddled me, rubbing my back and listening to me blubber on and on about "woe is me...". After I calmed down and was yawning and closing my eyes he left and I drifted off to sleep.
And here I am back at work, and my only plans after work today are to go home...and hang with the dogs....*sigh*
~~Update~~ Right after publishing this post I got a text from a friend of mine. I have plans tonight!! YAY!! I'm not a loser after all! - lol
2 comments:
I am a lurker to your blog. I just wanted to let you know that I too have PCOS. I also have the hair on my face and neck. I wanted to let you know that after dealing with the hair on my neck and face and being so self conscious about it for years, I recently discovered threading. The first time I got my face and neck threaded, I felt like a woman, not a man. I go back every 6-8 weeks. Overtime, the hair comes back thinner and lighter. Good Luck and hang in there!
Hey, I'm a lurker too. I live in the same area as you do and also have PCOS (among other things). I know how frustrating all the symptoms are and just wanted to give you a virtual ((hug)). Plus, I thought I'd let you know that I love my RE and he's not too far from here. If you want his info, I'd be happy to share. ;)
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