Monday, May 25, 2009

Back to Civilization!

Wow, what a week!

I left last Monday for a 3-day work trip to Spokane. I worked mucho overtime Mon-Wed, Thursday I only worked 6 hours and Friday I only worked 2.5!!

I had my baseline ultrasound Friday morning and got my prescription for Femara, and then it was off to go camping. Camping was actually better than I thought. I hadn't been "real" camping in a long long long time. We'll we were in a state park and there were showers and flushing toilets, but still... We went and played at a river one day, vegged another day and went hiking around looking for water falls another day. We had hoped to hike up to some lava caves, but unfortunately, the caves were closed. I was a really good trip, but man I'm glad to be back home.

Anyway, it was also a big week for me because I spent the WHOLE WEEK around pregnant women and children! I survived, unscathed! Mon-Thursday was spent with a pregnant coworker and Fri-Mon was spent with my pregnant friend. There were also 4 kids under the age of 10 camping with us. I can't tell you how many heart attacks I thought I was going to have with the 3 year old that was there. I guess I'm uber paranoid, but I gasped I don't know how many times. I hope I'm not a super paranoid parent. I don't think my heart could handle it! :0)

I am really proud of myself on my attitude around the preggos and children. No hard feelings at all. I feel really bad because a couple of times now when someone has told me they were pregnant they had a hard time doing so knowing what I am going through and how I feel emotionally. The coworker told me on Monday that she was pregnant, I actually had no negative reaction at all. I am really happy for her! But she still felt bad and didn't know how to tell me.

I don't know what the change in attitude is all about. A small part of me thinks that I am waiving my white flag and just giving up on the idea that I will ever get knocked up. But mostly I think my time will come and getting all bummed out about it won't help anything. This is my attitude as of the last few weeks. Now if someone else announces their pregnancy...which I cant imagine who else in my world would be getting pregnant...I might react differently.

Today was my second day of pills - which, by the way, I figured out cost $45/day for 5 days. Thankfully, insurance covered most of it and the total for all the pills was only $25. I'll finish the pills Thursday and then a few days later start peeing on the ovulation sticks and go from there...

Here we go again...again....

1 comment:

Hope2morrow said...

I fluctuated through those moods of being okay when someone made the pregnancy announcment and then being so NOT okay with it. Sounds like you are doing well and had a nice mini-vacation!

Keep us posted on your progress!