The girls are now 4 weeks old! I can't believe how fast time is flying by! Sadly, I am returning to work next week. I wish I could use up all of my maternity leave, but financially...I gotsta go back.
The girls are doing so well. I really think the reflux meds have helped K a ton! I've also been having her sleep in her bouncy seat at night. The combination of the two has been working well. She's basically sleeping from feeding to feeding (3-4 hours), unless she's gassy. N has been doing well too. Poor little girl got the baby acne a little worse than her sister. Plus yesterday it was so warm yesterday she chilled in a onesie most of the day and her nails got her a little too :0(
Both girls got a bath today. I hate giving them a bath. It will be so much better when they can hold their head up and even better when they can sit up on their own. Right now it's a two person job to bathe them. I have to have someone holding their heads and bodies up, since they tend to slouch down in the tub. Oh, and by the way, those mesh hammock thingies that the tubs come with are a pain in a butt. They get soapy and the girls slide down in them it's hard to rise the kids off. After the first bath I put that thing away. I do have to say that today's bath was a little better. They actually seemed to like it more. Actually, I should say K liked it more. She hates being messed with. She hates her diaper changed, clothes changed, etc. N liked the bath just as much I think. She didn't let out a peep until I was trying to get her dressed again - which is really hard to do with their skin is damp.
I've been freaking out the last few days with my first day of work looming. I thought I had everything figured out. I'd have my hours changed at work. Hubby would stay home with the girls. I'd get home and he'd leave for work. Simple. No daycare. Win-win for everyone. The reality is, my work doesn't seem to be as cooperative as they said they'd be when I first asked about me switching my hours. Hubby is not cut out to be a stay at home dad. I don't blame him. It's a lot of work and really overwhelming to be alone with them. He's been really good with them, but gets frustrated really easy. Also, his work isn't giving him many hours at all. Seriously, like one or two days a week.
I talked before about hard times at our house. Since Hubby got sick back in December and had to have his surgery and then the second surgery in March, he's just gotten back to work about a week or two ago after healing from his surgeries. Financially we're in really bad shape. We've basically been living off of his parents for months. Thank God for them. I'm ready to throw in the towel on our house. We're are months behind in our payments and even when I am back to work and able to make payments again, they are too big for us. The payment has always been a little too steep, but we made it work before, but now with the girls here, it's pretty much impossible. My mom half serious/half joking said that we could move into one of their garages (my brother lives in the upstairs part of the garage - lol. I'm actually considering it. My dad is a handyman, he would fix it up and make it livable for us. Sure we wouldn't have a bathroom, but the house is 20 ft away. And really, things would suck, but I'd be able to not work at all or only work part time and be able to spend the first precious few years with my girls. Because really, we'd only have to figure something out for the first five years, until they start school.
Even if living in my parents garage doesn't workout, I'd like to figure out something. I jokingly said on fa.ceboo.k that I'd live in a van down by the river. While the girls are this young, they aren't going to know or care where we live. When I was a kid, my parents didn't have much money and I've heard stories about the living conditions we were in until I was in kindergarten. I don't hardly remember at all. Not the bad stuff anyway.
Anyway, I didn't mean to make this post all about staying home with the kids, but I'm racking my brain trying to figure something out. I never thought I'd feel so strongly about leaving my girls during the day to go to work. **sigh** I know most if not all moms feel this way, but I seriously want to lay on the floor and kick my arms and legs and throw a tantrum about going back to work. I don't wanna!
Okay, more pictures of the girls coming soon. Their one-month "birthday" is Saturday!
2 comments:
I've typed and retyped a comment that just doesn't seem to do justice to what you're experiencing now. My best advice is to use both your head and your heart going forward, and be sure to sleep on any major decisions before finalizing them.
Big hug, dearie...sounds like you need it!
The financial situation sucks. I agree with you that the girls won't know or care about where they live for a while, but where ever you live has to have heat, bathroom facilities, and some place to cook. I'd definitely think about alternative places, possibly cheap rentals, but anything without a bathroom does not sound too good. Also, maybe check into WIC and I know there are programs to help with daycare costs (perhaps you could figure out how to make part time daycare work).
Even though I completely admit that I'm not cut out to be a SAHM, I completely understand the desire to not miss that time with them and to find a way to make it work. I hope that something opens up that can make that work for you.
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