Wow...I'd like to never do that again...

In a nutshell: it sucked, but at least I was inseminated.

I got tho the office about 5 mins early. I walk up to the counter and tell the receptionist my name. She as she looks at my chart she says "what are you here for? Oh, insemination." I say "yes". And she says "is your husband with you?" I say "No, he was here about an hour ago." She looks confused. The other receptionist says from the other room, "yes, he was here, you were watching Greys Anatomy". I almost laughed out loud at the ridiculouness that she didn't remember him only 45 minutes ago because she was watching TV. Nice.

Good news, Grey's Anatomy girl (we'll call her GA girl) brought me back right away to my room. She tells me to get undressed from the waist down and leaves.

Dr. M and GA girl come in a few minutes later. They get me to lay down and put my feet in the stirrups, he inserts the speculum and says "okay, now I'll go get the specimen" and he left. So there I lay, feet up, legs spread...va-jay-jay spread...waiting...He comes back a minute or so later and proceeds to "clean my cervix" - ouch! That was like the worst pap smear I've ever had - ever! I can't tell when he is done cleaning and when the actual procedure starts. I'm laying there gritting my teeth squeezing my eyes shut when I hear GA girl (who is observing the procedure) say "what is that, that ball on her cervix?". I think uh, oh, what the hell is it? Dr. M says "oh, that's just her anterior lip of her cervix". Gee, thanks GA girl for making me freak for a minute. He finishes and says he'll be back in a few minutes to give me some instructions.

A few minutes he walks in with a red chart...I know my chart isn't red. He comes over to me and says "I hear you've been having some contractions" - wtf!?!?! - I say "I am???" and he says "oops, wrong room!" and leaves. Ugh.

A few more minutes later he comes in with a post-it note with instructions on it:

Thursday: Ultrasound (to make sure I ovulated)
Monday: Progesterone test
April 14: call if no period

He then tells me for the last 5-10 mins I should roll over and lay on my right side (the side with the follicle). So I do. And I wait...and wait... and wait...I know more than 10 mins have gone by, but I wait...and I wait... finally, after listening to people pee in the bathroom and the two front desk ladies answer the phone and patiens and their kids coming and going I decide to get up. I stumble over to my purse to look at my phone (since there is not a clock in the room). It says 3:06. I was brought back about 1:55 and I know the procedure didn't last more than 15-20 mins...so I basically laid there for 45 mins. I know that is a good thing, I'm sure the longer the better...but still...was no one going to come and get me?

I decide to get dressed and head for the front. The Dr. is standing there talking to a patient, he sees me and I expect him to say something like "what are you doing up?" or "sorry I forgot to get you", but no. He says "oh, go ahead and make those appointments with Gerri". I'm thinking ok, whatever dude.

I told him I'm going to be out of town on the 14th, so he says that fine and to just "pee on a stick". Ok, I can do that...I've had enough practice. So I make my appointment with Gerri and I leave. Whew, glad that is over with.

So now I'm back at my office, and I can't seem to get focused to work (that's why I'm blogging now :0)) I'm kind of crampy from the HCG shot, I have been all day - and bloated, but other than that, no lingering pain from the IUI.

Well, the spermies are where they are supposed to be. Now, just one of them needs to find my egg. *c'mon swimmers, swim with all your might!**