So...I'm sitting here at work (I know, I know) and I'm thinking about how today is my last day of clomid...possibly for good...
I have mixed feelings about that. First, I am so $#%@! excited because this could be it for me, and my hot flashes, and psycho mood swings, and my ginormous appetite. Then, I'm a little nervous. Because, if this is it for me, then what is next? Injectables? IVF? Adoption? I'm curious how this all will unfold.
I have to say, I'm pretty darn proud of myself the last week or so. Usually on clomid (and here comes the jinxing part) I am rather crazed and about to burst into tears at any second - AND there are the horrible hot flashes...well, I'm proud of myself because I haven't been uber emotional. I mean I've had a couple of moments of choking up...but nothing like the psycho I usually am. My hot flashes are still around - trust me - but they don't seem as bad this time around.
Oh and a quick note about the hot flashes...I know I am no doctor and I basically know little on how my body works, but I thought that when I was getting hot flashes that my body temp was rising. Well the last two nights I've kept a thermometer next to by bed and when I was hit with a flash I would take my temp...it was actually lower than normal...go figure. Normally my body temp is low anyway (96-97), but last night I temped twice and it was 96.4 then 95.8. Hmm...
I do take my last two pills tonight. Usually a day or two after I take them things start happening...meaning I can feel my poor little ovaries working overtime. And, they start to feel like hard painful golfballs. I am hoping since everything else seems to be less intense this month that maybe my golfballs won't be so bad...at the same time, I don't want to wish that upon myself and then not have a successfull month.
I guess I always assumed that a person who takes clomid always ovulates. After reading some blogs (most recently Jess' "hi!") I am realizing that I am actually pretty fortunate that every month I've taken clomid I've ovulated at least one egg (in August I had two).
Like I said before, I go in next Tuesday (28th) to get my day 12 ultrasound. Basically, they just check me to see how things are progressing. If I have an egg that is at least 18mm, I'll get my HCG injection (forces me to ovulate). If I'm not ready yet, then depending on the size I'll have to go back in a few days. I've been fortunate the last few months because I've been ready on day 12 and haven't had to make the trip back to Seattle (about an hour drive with no traffic) for a 15 min., $150 appointment.
I'm switching gears a little - remember back at the beginning of my blogging I mentioned a friend who is pregnant, but things weren't going so well for the baby? Well, I got an update yesterday. I believe she is around 7 months (she's due the end of Dec.). Apparently the baby's bones are all too small compared to what they should be. One of the legs is missing the fibula. The ribs are not fully formed and not wrapping around like they should be. This problem alone could possibly not allow the baby to survive. The saddest part about her email was the fact that the doctors told her that she should not prepare a nursery. When I read that my heart sank. I mean how horrible to be told not even to bother with a nursery because your baby will not make it home. They aren't even sure it will make it to term. (the docs had asked her before about terminating the pregnancy - she declined) I am just so incredibly sad for her. I don't know what to say. She sent a mass email to everyone to give the update...I haven't replied...because I don't know what to even say...
On that note...I'm going to get back to work. I hope you all have a great day...I'm going to try to enjoy this gray sloppy weather here in western washington...ugh... :0)
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