Monday, October 5, 2009

I was doing so good!

Now the anxiety has hit me!

Last week went by faster than I thought, even this weekend wasn't bad. But, man, today is torture. I did good until about 11am this morning. All of a sudden my chest got tight and my heart was pounding in my chest. It would last about 5 seconds and go away. It is still doing it a few hours later. The waiting is killing me. I'll just be sitting at my desk working and wham! it hits me. I even took my pulse and it was approximately 88bpm. Which I think it pretty high for just sitting at my desk.

Damn Google too. I've been Googling like crazy - and Hubby isn't happy with me about it. I can't help it though. I wish today my office cut off my Internet connection so I didn't have the world.wide.web. at my fingertips. I really wish I knew was my first test result was too, but I don't. I've thought about calling and asking, but that would just have me obsessing even more. Most everything I read says it doesn't matter the number as long as it's doubling like it's supposed to. I'll find out on Wednesday.

I'm sure today and tomorrow are going to be a breeze compared to the hours and hours I'll have to wait to get the results on Wednesday.

**breathe in...and out...breathe in...**

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