My mother...
I've mentioned her before and her lack of interest in all my "depressing" fertility treatments. Although I tried not to let it bother me, it really made me sad, that I could never go to my mom for support.
Now, that I am apparently pregnant (still can't believe it), she has decided to be involved - go figure. Last weekend we were talking about my upcoming appointment this week and she says "I wanna go!". I'm like "...uh...well...okaaaaay...". She then said to check with Hubby first to make sure he's okay with it and she doesn't want to intrude - or something like that. I ask Hubby and he says it's fine. I called her yesterday to let her know that she could go.
Last night I was thinking about it more and I was really pissed about it. How dare she not give a shit about the last two years of my life, and how I struggled emotionally, financially and physically to get to where I am. Now that I am in a "happy" place, she decides to join the fun. I was talking to Hubby about it last night and I asked if it would be terrible of me to call her back and tell her I'd rather not have her go. He said I should pick my battles. Let her go this time, but let her know in the future when things aren't okay for her to tag along to if I don't want her there.
Thanks for letting me vent for a minute. I was thinking about it again today and I just get really annoyed. I wish I could grow "a pair" and stand up to her more. Maybe now with my raging hormones I will. I would really like to have the opportunity someday to (nicely) tell her how much her actions - or lack there of - have hurt my feelings.
Someday.
2 comments:
I don't think I'd let anyone come to an appointment of mine where the pants come off except for the hubby. Mom there for a wanding or pap or whatever is kinda too weird for me (my mom WAS there at my first ever pelvic and I ain't doing that again). Everything else aside, I'd be more willing to offer a seat at the big u/s around 20 weeks or later at an elective keepsake u/s, anything else where the pants stay on. Of course, my mom still doesn't give a crap and hasn't barely asked me a single question since we told her, a little enthusiasm might be nice.
Congrats on the pregnancy again.
i might be a bad christian for saying this...but, i would have a hard time inviting her to join in on the festivities as well. Family is supposed to be through thick and thin, not just when its all gravy. My parents are the same way now, it seems, now that they think i am pregs they are "trying" to have this relationship with me...
i know how you feel...and i dont know if you just wanted to vent or if you wanted advice...
so if you just wanted to vent, just read that above, and if you wanted advice too, then keep reading.
my advice is to not have her attend the ultrasounds, only because if it is going to be stressful to you, it is not a healthy thing for your baby. If you want to be gracious and forgiving and have her involved in things invite her over for special times to review ultrasound pictures and videos- one on one.
i think the only "picking of battles" you need to worry about are the ones that are going to stress you out...because in the end, your health is what matters the most, and the health of your unborn child.
spoken from a christian person dealing with abandonment issues....
♥ ac
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